I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for initially in a long while, I do not feel alone.
Section of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I could be doing so for the incorrect reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I'm about to fairly share wasn't yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside a course in miracles. Don't want it troubling your brain, won't you allow it to be?” This confused me as I really could not consider anything that I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don't want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I had in arriving at the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents'satisfaction, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
You will find other items that happened that felt important, but I can't consider them right now.
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