I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this chance to see shining examples of the teachings of a course in miracles, and fo the first time in a long while, I do not feel alone.
Part of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I would be doing so for the wrong reason; as a means in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I'd had any insights. What I'm about to talk about was not yet clear during those times; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside. Don't want it troubling the mind, won't you let it be?” This confused me as I possibly could not consider whatever I'd said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don't want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I'd in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere using its residents'peace of mind, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief will be (has been?) released.
You will find other things that happened that felt important, but I can't consider them right now.
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